The church is supposed to be a place of hope and healing for the broken. Jesus invites sinners to come and find rest and restoration. And yet, many people experience devastating injury—whether emotional, mental, or physical—in church. In this booklet, author Mary DeMuth tackles the question of how we can …
There are myriad ways church hurt happens, but they come primarily through the general categories of systems, people, and toxic theology. Systemic Problems Chuck DeGroat in his book When Narcissism Comes to Church talks about the systems around a toxic leader. For a narcissistic leader to gain power and control …
For a long time, I didn’t think my own church hurt could have any positive impact—certainly it hadn’t in my life, so how could it foster growth in matters of the kingdom? But there is always an opportunity for growth amid pain. Jesus reminds us, “I tell you the truth, …
Perhaps you’re reading this and church hurt has not been your experience. Or maybe you’ve walked through that pain and the reactions of those around you have been less than empathetic. There are best practices when it comes to loving someone who has walked through relational and institutional pain. First, …
Just as God’s people are beautifully different, our healing journeys are varied and unique. The wounds we experience are deep, and they are often connected to past trauma, so the pathway toward health is layered, long, and complicated. First, to heal, you’ll most likely need to separate from the ministry …
Great loss follows church hurt in three main areas—our trust of leaders, relationship with fellow Christ followers, and our struggle to keep our faith in the aftermath. The weeks and months and often even years that follow church hurt are fraught with questions, confusion, and pain. Trust of Leadership We …
Church hurt occurs when you’ve experienced a relational, theological, emotional, communal or spiritual injury in a church or ministry setting. It can involve leaders, pastors, laypeople, or friendships within the environment. Sometimes it involves spiritual abuse, but not always. Author Karen Roudkovski defines spiritual abuse as “a misuse of power …
My husband Patrick and I sat in the middle of a group of upper–level leaders from the mega church we had called home for over two decades. We’d been invited to share feedback and ask questions of the leadership, something we welcomed over lunch. Maybe they really did want to …
The Christian faith promises hope in the face of death—that our last breath won’t actually be our last. But on this side of the grave, life is hard. Our expectations of what it means to “follow Jesus” don’t always lead us to a more comfortable life. Oftentimes it’s the opposite. …
